Open Heart, Open Mind

Meditation and acro yoga

One of my main goals while traveling is to stretch my boundaries, expand my comfort zone. Though it hasn't always been easy (check out this post) and I have at times missed my familiar coffees and toast at home, it has been worth it. My time at the Sanctuary provided many such opportunities.

Meditation has always been something that has interested me. Be it on a spiritual level or not, the benefits I've read of behind meditation intrigue me. (Well that and Eat Pray Love... I can’t deny how much I reminisce if that book being here in Bali!) I've managed a few moments of meditative awareness on my own and through yoga, but never very seriously. So when I saw the blackboard at the Sanctuary in Haad Tien decorated with swirls and flowers boasting a six pm free meditation class, I decided this would be my shot.

From what other guests have told me, there are active and non active classes. Some are spent chanting, others sitting silently... I honestly had no idea what to expect.

I walk in, resume a savasana pose with a few others, and wait expectantly for the teacher to arrive. After a few words of welcome, he softly clarifies that we will be, along with music, spending fifteen minutes shaking, fifteen dancing, fifteen standing or sitting, and fifteen sitting or lying down.

Pardon? You want me to shake around for fifteen minutes? Just jiggle around however the energy takes me? Oh my… However as much as this may have been a surprise to me, the rest of my class is unfazed; they simply close their eyes as the calming rhythmic beats of music fill the room.  

Try as I might to let go of my inhibitions and let my body bounce around freely, I can’t help but sneak a peak at the others around me. Seeing those swaying, bouncing, jittering around me, I can’t help but want to giggle. I suppress the desire and settle for a smile instead. Tell me, why did I decide to put myself in a room full of hippies jiggling about?

Somehow that ridiculous moment frees me of my thoughts and criticism. I forget what my boyfriend, my mum, my friends would think and when the instructor chimes in that the dance portion is beginning, I let the music flow through me; however my body wants to move.

Somehow, miraculously, the dancing works for me! I hardly feel my thoughts interrupting my movements, and am actually able to calm my mind for longer than a couple minutes.  I leave feeling refreshed, centered, and much more optimistic about new ways to meditate.

I keep this newfound elation as I step into my acro yoga workshop the next day. It is literally ‘acrobatic yoga’ and involves partnering into various balancing postures. Through this has always intrigued me, I’ve never tried it; I’m not entirely comfortable upside down (especially when held by someone else) nor with someone even lifting me altogether (memories of being on of the dancers “too large to partner with” still plagues me…). Thankfully my state of mind as a result of yesterday’s meditation has quelled some of these insecurities.

Our instructor enlightens us that the two most important elements of acro yoga are  
trust and surrender. Trust your partner will carry your weight, and surrender your full body weight to them. 

Without having the time to pause and examine my apprehension over these new postures, my teacher hoists me upside down, and I’m literally dangling in front of the class. 

Breathe… breathe… breathe… 

Happily, after a few hours, our instructor has us hanging off each others feet on our hips, contorting in various bizarre postures. Very rewarding!

I read once that according to Buddhist thought, “when the student is ready, the teacher appears”. In the afternoon, I am chatting with an English girl about our travels and she tells me that when she steps into each country, she repeats the following mantra:

“Open heart, open mind”.

She’s so right. The challenges and misgivings I had in these classes represent new cultures for me: if you can let go of expectations, come in with an open mind, you can embrace what a country has to offer. Some aspects of these classes may have seemed strange and outlandish, but it has helped me to open my eyes and shed away the stereotypes.

Easier said than done, but I’m trying.

The compass

How did I ever end up here?

My trip to Europe in many ways was significantly easier than Asia, at least in terms of my expectations. We always stayed along a very well known path, saw very well known cities, and spoke very well known (for us at least) languages. I had grown up seeing pictures of white stucco walls of Greece, and romantic street light lit movies in Paris… I could easily point to each city on a map. Every new city I experienced a feeling of “I can’t believe I’m actually here! A place that I’ve seen so many times but am actually experiencing for real…” A bit like seeing a movie star.

My time in Asia, however, has been considerably more unexpected... More like meeting some strange individual that you’ve heard bits and pieces about, but need to spend time with to really to get to know.

One feeling I find myself repeatedly experiencing is wondering how I even got myself in certain situations. I know how I physically made it, but it’s as if my consciousness needs time to catch up with me… as if there is such a high level of new stimuli which I have no frame of reference for that I need to pause, take it all in and realize that this is truly happening to me. Getting to “The Sanctuary” in Koh Phangan was definitely one of those situations.

To begin with, I’ve realized that every time I leave for a new location on my own I become quite apprehensive. A few people have, amiably, told me that I must be brave to manage such a trip by myself (well at least bits of it on and off), but I can't ignore the fear of the unknown before I strike out on my own. After spending almost a week with some friends in Koh Samui and Haad Rin, I did my best to let this anxiety slide off my shoulders and I headed towards the pier for The Sanctuary.

The Sanctuary, a yoga retreat on the same island as Haad Rin (better known for its infamous full moon parties), is quite remote, and most easily accessible by boat. Unfortunately, however, the waters were too choppy and I was informed I need to take an off road taxi. What they neglected to tell me, when I asked a few hours prior, is that these “taxis” have set times.

Once I made it to the pier, the taxi drivers told me one truck had just left, and I would need to wait until more other travelers show up. Pardon? I just need to wait some unspecified amount of time until a few more yogis heading in the same direction simply “show up”? The closest estimation they gave me is "maybe in two hours", at 7:30pm, when the last boat from Koh Samui comes in. At this point I was already exhausted after trying to sleep in (what I considered) quite filthy, raucous and humid bungalows on the beach in Haad Rin and was feeling entirely disgusting… Combine that with my fear of the unfamiliar and my western expectations of travel times (quite a high demand on a tropical island I am aware) and I nearly gave up on the whole idea. Luckily they decided my business alone was worthy of a trip over, and shortly I climbed into one of the pick-up truck “shuttles” that would take me to Haad Tien.

With my backpack bouncing along in the back, we pushed our way through a trail in the Thai jungle. Now this was an adventure, at least by my standards! The craziness of the bumps and hills, and the fact that I was going to the middle of nowhere on a little island, in a pick-up truck, with some random Thai driver, alone, somehow brought a smile to my face. Every second airborne (yes, that kind of ride) brightened my mood. How did I even get here? Where am I? How am I actually managing this?

Forty five minutes later, I ended up at the Sanctuary. 

The reception area

Restaurant

I kicked off my flip flops at the reception (the inside, if you can qualify it as such as it’s open air, requires bare feet, which I love) and landed myself a dorm for 200 baht a night,roughly $6.50 cad. 

My dorm room

and the view

The main area is built almost entirely of bamboo and being on the beach, you can feel the breeze as you sip on coconut water in a hammock (love fulfilling those stereotypes) or eat some of their (naturally) vegetarian food. Though the food and classes are expensive by Thai standards, it’s still reasonable enough for a backpacker. Their array of choices from a little Japanese style futon on the ground in the dorms to upscale air conditioned bungalows cater to variety of people.

And is it ever a variety of people! My first impression of the place was like a Thai version of the Naam crossed with Wreck Beach. I suppose I expected a bunch of health conscious granola types, which they are, but I didn’t quite realize the level of eccentricity I would find here. Everyone here seem to own only sarongs, tie-dye, fisherman pants and feathers… Many clearly enjoy psychedelics, and greet one another with hands in prayer saying “Namaste”.  Of all the places I choose for my week alone in Thailand, I end up here. Clearly I have more of my father’s bend toward unconventionality in me than I realize!

Most notable of the individuals I’ve met have been a very spiritual Norwegian yoga instructor, S, and a Torontonian named River. Usually I don’t include names in my blog, but when you change your name to something like that... Well I couldn't help but to use it to illustrate the kind of people I’m meeting here. My first night the two of them had such surreal conversation that my fatigue seemed to melt away.

Needless to say, River was quite adamant that I try something to “connect with the universe” and that I could later use that experience as a reference point, or something along those lines… Not really a choice for me personally, but interesting to hear his point of view! S, who, having put sunscreen on my back two days in a row, declared my skin felt better today. Had I practiced yoga? My energy was different. Yogis I tell you.

I met another Canadian, J, here, who had just spent the last three years teaching English in Korea. Definitely a bit more Commercial Drive than Kits (loving my Vancouver references in this post), but she had danced her whole life too, so we got along well. After chatting for a while, she was very sweet and gave me her compass as she was heading home in the next few days. What a useful tool! I never thought of it. If ever I’m lost in a city (always), in a taxi that may or may not be heading in the right direction (likely), or in the middle of some random island, I can always have a little bit of direction. I feel much more prepared to deal with those “how did I ever end up here and where the am I??” moments.


Check out the Sanctuary's website : http://www.thesanctuarythailand.com/

Asia Bound

One of my main goals in life is to open my mind, to see outside my bubble. I'd like to develop  greater understanding and empathy towards people and cultures who differ from me. So naturally, I have a great urge to travel. 

I am not, however, a natural traveler. I stress a great deal before (and admittedly during) a long trip. My anxiety soars when booking flights. I am hardly an adventurous soul (I have an irrational fear of fish, for example)... I dread planning, yet prefer to have the majority outlined and organized... Which doesn't bode well with a "go with the flow" travel attitude. For me, travel is a goal, something I feel the need to do to feel "right" in my own skin, despite a number of challenges my own character creates for me.

A good friend of my family, G, does not seem to have such issues. With worldwide mementos adorning her walls, outrageous get togethers surrounded by international friends, she comes by it with ease. She once gave me a valuable piece of advice: travel where you know someone.

As a language lover who has been learning Spanish (albeit on and off) for quite some time, I was quite determined to have my next trip in South America. But somehow, a number of friends ended up in Asia. And not just the parties of Thailand, but in "small"-town Japan and rural China. The more I spoke of my trip with friends, the more I discovered many others planned to visit South East Asia. Somehow it seemed set. Perhaps a little obscure, or different from my usual taste (I do not speak a word of Japanese, Mandarin, Thai...)  but here I am, in Asia. 

Japan, China, Thailand, Indonesia. Somehow this is sounding more challenging than Europe...